Tue 13 May 2008 12:14am PST

Think Like a Christian,
Talk Like a Christian, pt. 4:
(Un)Friendly Fire

Presenter: Larry Kirkpatrick

Location: Mentone Seventh-day Adventist Church, California, USA

Delivery: 2006-12-16

Publication: Last GenerationTheology.org 2006-12-18 00:32Z

Type: Sermon

URL: http://www.lastgenerationtheology.org/lgt/doc/mis/txtx/kir-talk4.php

We focus our thoughts today with a portion of (1 Corinthians 4:12, 13:

Being reviled, we bless; being persecuted, we suffer it; being defamed, we entreat.

Here are three points, three facets of attack on our character: reviling, persecution, defamation. And the Christian response: blessing, enduring, entreating. Consider one’s options. First, when someone mistreats us, dragging us and/or our good name through the mud, we will feel astonishment, then we may feel like striking back. At this point, if self is not subdued in Christ, if the Holy Spirit is not being allowed to soften our heart, we may resort to our old, unconverted behavior patterns. God forbid that you would. But if you do resist, then what? You may endure because you feel that you have no other choice. Endurance, after all, is one of the marks of the last generation (Revelation 14:12).

But there is only so much humanity can take before emotional exhaustion sets in. We are not finite beings. We have limits. There are times when it seems like we are so drained that all we can do is endure, hang on by the bare edges of our fingernails. Is it wrong to just get down to the point of enduring? Is it wrong when all of your bodily resources are devoted to life support? Consider Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane:

The human heart longs for sympathy in suffering. This longing Christ felt to the very depths of His being. In the supreme agony of His soul He came to His disciples with a yearning desire to hear some words of comfort from those whom He had so often blessed and comforted, and shielded in sorrow and distress. The One who had always had words of sympathy for them was now suffering superhuman agony, and He longed to know that they were praying for Him and for themselves.... the disciples trusted to themselves. They did not look to the mighty Helper as Christ had counseled them to do. Thus when the Saviour was most in need of their sympathy and prayers, they were found asleep.... The humanity of the Son of God trembled in that trying hour. He prayed not now for His disciples that their faith might not fail, but for His own tempted, agonized soul. The awful moment had come—that moment which was to decide the destiny of the world. The fate of humanity trembled in the balance. Christ might even now refuse to drink the cup apportioned to guilty man. It was not yet too late. He might wipe the bloody sweat from His brow, and leave man to perish in his iniquity. He might say, Let the transgressor receive the penalty of his sin, and I will go back to My Father (The Desire of Ages, pp. 687, 689, 690).

You heard it? “He prayed not now for His disciples that their faith might not fail, but for His own tempted, agonized soul.” Astonishing. Or is it? Jesus took a finite humanity. When we are pressed to the edges of our endurance, we may know that Jesus was pressed to the edges of His. When we endure, it is not because we are crucified without Him but when we are crucified with Him (Galatians 2:20).

In the Bible Jesus says, “Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these My brethren, ye have done it unto Me” (Matthew 25:40). That counts not only for comforting and helping, but for reviling, persecution, defaming a brother or a sister. When you do that, you are reviling Christ. You are defaming Christ. You are persecuting Christ. In the person of your brother.

How Are We Doing Now?

So. How are you, you individually, specifically, personally, doing today? This is our fourth week on this topic. What do you talk about when you are just out of reach of certain ears? What do you talk about in the foyer of God’s house? Some here are newer to the faith. It is easier to understand their making mistakes in talk. But what about the mature, the long-termers? When Christians of years fall into the same sin what excuse can be offered? For the sake of your souls, church members, put away from you your evilspeaking. This is God’s church. This behavior cannot be tolerated here. And if someone comes to you and wants to chatter and make complaints, then please have the grace to tell that pirannha, “Excuse me, I must interrupt you for the sake of Christ.” In fact, look with me at Paul’s counsel at the end of his letter to the Romans in 16:17, 18:

Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them which cause divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them. For they that are such serve not our Lord Jesus Christ, but their own belly; and by good words and fair speeches deceive the hearts of the simple.

Paul warns the church members: Mark those who cause divisions and offenses. Notice that you are commanded to identify, if such are present among you, those who what? Who “cause divisions and offenses.” What have we been saying in this series? I will repeat it for the slow of hearing:

Grant the accused the benefit of a doubt as to the reliability of the evil reports—decide in your heart to not as yet accept the information as true.
Come openly and talk with the one thought to be in error.
Give the person charged with the wrong a clear, definite statement of his supposed errors.
Give him a fair opportunity to answer the charges.
Ask him, with all the tenderness of a Christian, and with your own soul subdued by the pitying love of Christ, if these statements are true.

But consider this too. Often, there is no offense. So save the time and leave the parties who are being unjustly maligned alone. Move on. And if there truly is some offense, would you be willing to lose what little Christianity you may have for the dubious satisfaction of contributing to Christian cannibalism? If you’re a vegetarian, prove it. Stop. Shooting. Your. Own. Soldiers. Did you know that you are not required to pursue such matters? You are allowed, indeed, counselled in God’s Word to consider letting matters drop. And keep in mind that even if something may be true does not mean that talking about it is not gossip. We need to ask ourselves not as much whether something is true as whether something qualifies as destructive talk. Let’s call to mind once again our definition of destructive talk: the offering of most kinds of derogatory or damaging information concerning others, or talk promoting unjust negativity about a given person or persons.

Paul said, “Mark them which cause divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned.” And what is the doctrine you have learned? In Romans Paul’s chief topic has been the gospel and its application. In fact, the topic of destructive talk comes up in six of Romans’ 16 chapters. And so mark those whose behavior is 180 degrees from the gospel. Paul says “avoid them.” Now as a church, we don’t formally practice shunning as some groups do. But on a purely utilitarian level, think of it this way...

If it is your goal to be in the new earth, then what must change? Either the base line principles of God’s government must change, or you must change. But God says “I am the Lord; I change not” (Malachi 3:6). So that means you must change. How are you going to change? If you listen to destructive talk, you will change all right. You will become a destructive talker yourself, because destructive hearers become destructive talkers. James had it right. “The tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth! And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell” (James 3:5, 6).

From a very basic standpoint, if you are planning to become like Jesus, you cannot afford to chatter with those who talk like Satan. Speak as if in the presence of Jesus. Because you are. And listen even more carefully. Consider these inspired statements:

A passerby who gets embroiled in someone else’s quarrel is like one who seizes a dog by the ears (Proverbs 26:17 JPS).

For lack of wood a fire goes out, and without a querulous man contention is stilled. Charcoal for embers and wood for a fire and a contentious man for kindling strife. The words of a querulous man are bruising; they penetrate one’s inmost parts (Proverbs 26:22 JPS).

More than all that you guard, guard your mind, for it is the source of life. Put crooked speech away from you; keep devious talk far from you (Proverbs 4:23, 24 JPS).

A scoundrel, an evil man lives by crooked speech, winking his eyes, shuffling his feet, pointing his finger. Duplicity is in his heart; he plots evil all the time; he incites quarrels. Therefore calamity will come upon him without warning; suddenly he will be broken beyond repair (Proverbs 6:12-15 JPS).

Expel the scoffer and contention ceases, quarrel and contumely cease (Proverbs 22:10 JPS).

Don’t contaminate yourself by speaking—or listening—to destructive or separation talk. In fact, give the devil an earache. If someone should approach you with petty complaints and backbiting on his lips, immediately say something nice about the party unfairly maligned. And then change the topic. If Christ is in you, you won’t have a taste for this kind of talk. Let’s be Christians and spend our energies where they can count toward good, and not in making nothing into something and ripping hearts to shreds for whom Jesus died, in the church of all places.

The heart in which love rules, will not be filled with passion or revenge, by injuries which pride and self love would deem unbearable. Love is unsuspecting, ever placing the most favorable construction upon the motives and acts of others. Love will never needlessly expose the faults of others. It does not listen eagerly to unfavorable reports, but rather seeks to bring to mind some good qualities of the one defamed (Signs of the Times, February 1, 1883).

I can’t help but urgently feel that we must unpack this paragraph line by line to make sure we understand and get the full benefit from it. You see, those who are chosen to be spiritual leaders in our midst need to be above reproach in these areas. Those who represent Jesus cannot be chosen because their face or their name is familiar to us. Bad behavior, if not repented of, must be marked. They must be kept accountable. If they will misrepresent Christ by their gossipy behavior in the church, how will they represent Jesus outside of His church?

“The heart in which love rules, will not be filled with passion or revenge, by injuries which pride and self love would deem unbearable.” Passion and revenge cannot reside where love resides. But passion and revenge inevitably creep in where love does not rule. When self views itself as injured, it reacts. It is like a cornered animal. The talons come out.

Love will never begin by suspecting others; it starts with the assumption that what one has done has been done in light of the gospel of Christ. In contrast, the heart where self rules will start with narrowed eyes and suspicion and reading out the imagined motives of others. Love places not just favorable but the most favorable construction upon the motives of others. Love looks for reasons not to be offended. In contrast, the cold heart watches for reasons why another can be be viewed as one’s enemy.

Love will never needlessly expose the faults of others. Love needs a strong reason to expose, and then it will expose only in harmony with the principles of containment found in Matthew 18. Self has no problem exposing the faults of others. The faults of others are catalogued for future use against others. One side is watching for flaws with glee, the other looks for repentance.

One of the more important lines in the quote is that “It [love] does not listen eagerly to unfavorable reports, but rather seeks to bring to mind some good qualities of the one defamed.” Love has an agenda in what it listens to—and refuses to listen to. When the heart where love rules hears another being defamed, it becomes a defender of the defamed. It swings into action in favor of the defamed. It searches memory for good qualities to be brought to mind, the mind of the hearer and of the defamer. Love learns how to listen. And how not to. We put all these things on the bookmark we have just handed out to you.

love rules	self rules
not filled with passion	filled with passion
not filled with revenge	filled with revenge
no injury received	injured pride and self-love
unsuspecting	suspecting
most favorable construction	places unfavorable construction on motives, acts
not needlessly expose faults	needlessly exposes faults
not eagerly listen reports	listens eagerly to unfavorable reports
brings to mind good qualities	defames

What rules in your heart?

The Joab Syndrome

There is another point we need to watch out for. You can call it the Joab syndrome, or the sons of Zeruiah, or, you can just call it the hard people. Who are the hard people? Nothing wears out a pastor as much as hard people. There is a class that are always hard. Now before you try to guess what I’m getting at, let me describe the modern sons of Zeruiah. They might not be who you think they are.

They don’t listen well to others. They are not interested in reasoning with others. They are unmerciful. They aren’t out trying to improve things for others. When you try to be merciful with someone, there sit the hard people, with memories that make elephants look forgetful. According to the hard people, so and so did such so many years ago and so we can’t trust them. Ever. We xan’t use them. Ever. Those afflicted with the Joab syndrome never forget a grudge, never overlook a fault or an offense. They file every mistake for future reload as ammunition. If there is an opportunity to let something go, they’ll buck it. If there is an initiative to take a risk and help someone get a new start, they’ll sabotage it.

I name the Joab syndrome for King David’s crusty but capable General Joab. In a competition that went toxic, when Joab’s brother refused to relent, Abner killed him. Joab soon slew Abner, against David’s wishes, by a strategem (2 Samuel 2:11-30;3:26, 27). David enlisted Joab in the murder of Uriah (2 Samuel 11). Joab was involved in the plot to lead David to return Absalom from exile (2 Samuel 14). Four chapters later, Joab slays Absalom against David’s express command (2 Samuel 18). Joab murders Amasa (2 Samuel 20). After David’s death, Joab is involved in the plot to set Adonijah on the throne of Israel, he lays hold of the alter in the temple and refuses to leave it and Solomon orders him slain there. David long regretted Joab’s hardness, and complained that the sons of Zeruiah (Joab being the most violent and political) were too hard for him (2 Samuel 3:39; 1 Kings 2).

Joab was a mighty warrior. He was able to get away with countermanding the king’s orders more than once. He might have been king in Israel. But he was too hard and the people knew it. They would not have followed him. His life ended in blood just as so often it was soaked in it. Joab’s military prowess was a great asset to David. Was David even, possibly, a bit afraid of Joab? Why did David keep him in the circle of power? Did he feel he had no other serious option? Did he feel it was wiser to keep Joab close so as to keep him at least partly in check? Did he think it wiser to have Joab over his army than over the army of a neighboring enemy force? Did he feel that Joab could blackmail him for his complicity in Uriah’s death? Whatever the case, Joab was kept on until his life ended in blood.

But the Joab syndrome is found in churches today. And sometimes, for our own reasons, we don’t keep them as accountable as we should. And their hardness damages the mission of the church, because all of us are maleable. In our closeness with each other, not only our better traits but our worse ones impact others. So hard people tend to harden other people. Do you know who else was hard? It was Judas. John and his brother allowed their hardness to be melted by Jesus’ purity. Judas just kept hardening.

So where are we going with all this? Its very simple. Do you want this church—the Mentone church—to be a hard church? Or a church where we are faithful. Do you want this church to be a place where people say “I am not going back; the sons of Zeruiah are there.” If we talk with hard people we will become harder ourselves. Harder in this, negative, destructive way. The choice is ours. God gave you a mouth. He gave you ears. Choose what you speak! Choose what you listen to! And pray for your pastors so that we will keep our Joabs accountable.

God is Trying To Do Something New

If we learn to think like Christians, talk like Christians, God will do something new. He will bring to birth. So often It’s not our theology that needs changing, but our hearts. Conversion is the problem. Conversion will solve most problems when it is accompanied by godly, sound instruction. But if we do not remove destructive talk from our midst, then this will be the outcome:

There are those who cherish a spirit of envy and hatred against their brethren, calling it the Spirit of God. There are those who go up and down as talebearers, accusing and condemning, blackening character, inspiring hearts with maliciousness. They carry false reports to the doors of their neighbors, who, as they listen to the slander, lose the Spirit of God. Not even the messenger of God, who bears to the people His truth, is spared.

This sin is worse than the sin of Achan. Its influence is not confined to those who cherish it. It is a root of bitterness, whereby many are defiled. God cannot bless the church till it is purged of this evil that corrupts minds and spirits, the souls of those who do not repent and change their course of action (The Upward Look, p. 122).

You see, if we don’t repent, if we don’t change, then we are not safe for others. God is calling us to come up higher.

If You Are Maligned

Now what if you are maligned?

Do not go out of your way to call your enemy to account. His words of censure and malice are like sparks which, if not blown upon and fed, will go out of themselves. Live down the evil reports of those whose tongues are set on fire of hell. If you stop of dispute, you will but open the way for further abuse.

Often difficulties may be healed by silence. Let the evil talker alone. Go about your work as one who has a sacred trust to fulfill. When you are criticized, move on as one who hears not. Your heart may be wounded; nevertheless, do not allow yourself to be turned aside from your work. Give your time and attention to matters of eternal interest (The Upward Look, p. 363).

The influence of the family is to be such that it will be a help and a blessing in the church. Never speak a word of complaint or faultfinding. There are churches in which the spirituality has been almost killed, because the spirit of backbiting has been allowed to enter. Why do we speak words of blame and censure? To be silent is the strongest rebuke that you can give to one who is speaking harsh, discourteous words to you. Keep perfectly silent. Often silence is eloquence (Child Guidance, p. 551).

It is not the opposition of the world that most endangers the church of Christ. It is the evil cherished in the hearts of believers that works their most grievous disaster and most surely retards the progress of God’s cause. There is no surer way of weakening spirituality than by cherishing envy, suspicion, faultfinding, and evil surmising. On the other hand, the strongest witness that God has sent His Son into the world is the existence of harmony and union among men of varied dispositions who form His church (Acts of the Apostles, p. 549).

Conclusion

And so the choices are ours. What we allow is what we encourage. What we encourage is what we allow. Let me tell you that a warm, successful church cannot be held hostage by the merciless sons and daughters of Zeruiah. God is calling every single one of us to renew our Christianity, to consecrate ours ears and our lips to Him, to put away from us the whiney, complaining, defaming spirit that it is so easy to indulge. Let not the camp be leavened with this evil, but instead purged. Keep to the positive.

Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands (Proverbs 14:1).

These are our choices. A wise church will build its house, but a foolish congregation will pluck it down with its hands. The church of Laodicea is self-destructive because it sees so poorly. It can be like a rhinoceros, large, dangerous, almost blind. Or it can be like Jesus who safely took the children up into His arms and blessed them, even when noses were running and they were disheveled and unlovely from hard play in the streets.

And so church, have a care what you hear. Have a care what you say. There are always hearts in the balance. Jesus sends them here for healing. Your words testify what your faith in Christ is made out of. God sets before every Christian life and death and urges us to choose life. He wants you to bless others. I would call your attention again to the bookmark we handed out. Read those principles. Apply them. Cleave to the positive, avoid the negative. Be Christians and the world will know it beecauseof what comes and does not come out of your mouths.

We have not finished this area of exploration. We still need to address separation speech, speaking destructive speech to yourself, Matthew 18, and a few other areas we want to address in this topic. But we will take a break from this for a few weeks now and then return to it. We are not ignorant of these things. We are accountable. Let’s see what our behavior can say from this point forward about how we serve He whose nail-pierced hands reach out to us still, offering mercy and help and life. LGT